SHY GIRL

Brno City Street

I had hoped to start writing here when I began my trip (24 days ago), but it has been more difficult than I’d expected. I have been writing quite a lot, but there’s something about writing in a public(ish) space that frightens me.

In short, it feels as though my writing requires closer consideration, and as though I should be careful about what I say if other people are reading it and they know these words are mine.

Maybe this means I’m somewhat ashamed of what I’m thinking, or of what I want to write about, but despite the reasons for how I feel, I know this isn’t a recipe for creativity.

I’ve been considering writing under a different name, so I can write freely and not be afraid about sharing the inner workings of my mind. As the days go by, it’s seeming more and more necessary. I may change things up over time, but for now, I’ll try a bit harder. Truth is, I haven’t given this blog much attention.

It’s far easier to write in a private space, but then the words build up upon words and after years of writing, all I’ve done is created personal, online journals that people could have related to, or even enjoyed.

Olomouc - The Poets' Corner
Olomouc – The Poets’ Corner

I have a thing for keeping my private life private and portraying different versions of myself to different people; tailor-made personas created to appeal to individuals or specific groups of people. I like the freedom this allows me. I like not having to decide exactly who I am so I can appeal to those I’m surrounded by. At the same time, this seems weak, and I don’t like the idea of floating through life as a ghost of who I really want to be.

Maybe this can be a space where those who are genuinely interested have a chance to meet who I am when I’m alone.

So here I am, alone. Taking me and my love for carbonara out for lunch.

Olivia in Brno @ Castellana Trattoria